Archive | Spring 2007

Reviews of the new shows starting in the US during Spring 2007.


February 25, 2008

Monday's Oscar-winning news

Posted on February 25, 2008 | 6 comments |

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June 28, 2007

Review: Last Man Standing 1x1

Posted on June 28, 2007 | Post a comment |

Last Man Standing

In the UK:
Tuesdays, 9pm, BBC3. Repeated 11.30pm, 2.25am; Sunday 8pm, 12.30am
In the US: Nowhere yet, but who knows. Maybe Discovery or BBC America

Anyone fancy a game of monkey tennis?

That if, you'll recall, was one of Alan Partridge's last-ditch pitches to a BBC commissioner in an attempt to get his own TV show. It's easy to imagine a similar conversation taking place in Soho House, not so long ago, between a desperate producer, a little the worse for wear from white wine and 17 rejections, and a BBC3 commissioner looking for new shows.

“Anthropology Agro!” suggests the tipsy prod. “We send six buff men around the world. They meet all sorts of tribes and cultures. They learn about their lifestyles and their customs. Then they pick fights with them.”

“Hmm,” muses the somewhat patronising BBC3 commissioner. “We are the BBC. We are supposed to be educational and informative. Except we're BBC3. We're watched by chavs and morons and Torchwood fans – who are both chavs and morons. The only way we're going to get our target demographic of XYZ9s to be interested in another country and its culture is by sticking it in an XBox360 first-person shooter backdrop and making sure there are plenty of naked tribeswomen in it.”

Decided, she exclaims, “Brilliant! You're hired” and Last Man Standing is born.

Except, it's the BBC. It's too liberal to be sending the prime of British youth around the world to beat up the natives. That's too Raj, too Empire. We can't do that anymore.

So they've stuck in a couple of provisos.

  1. Three of the six buff young athletes have to be American
  2. They all have to be bollocks at fighting

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June 20, 2007

Review: Meadowlands 1x1

Posted on June 20, 2007 | 4 comments |

Meadowlands

In the US: Sundays, Showtime, 10pm ET/PT
In the UK: Coming soon to Channel 4

Now here's curious. We have a co-production between UK network Channel 4 and US cable network Showtime. It's made by British production company Ecosse Films. It's filmed in Britain. It's set in Britain. It's cast is almost entirely British.

But it's airing in the US first.

How's that work then?

More to the point, it's also very British - very Channel 4, in fact –  which makes me wonder what Showtime sees in it. We have a family, headed by David Morrissey, who have to enter the witness protection programme. They wind up in Kent in a strange little town called Meadowlands populated by strange little people. And it's all very, very bleak – and very very strange.

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June 16, 2007

Third-episode verdict: Hidden Palms

Posted on June 16, 2007 | Post a comment |

The Carusometer for Hidden Palms3 Minor Caruso

Hidden Palms is another show, like Traveler, that's been sitting in the back catalogue for nearly a year, waiting for the right moment to be thrown out onto our televisions when no one's going to be watching. There's no second season coming so it's just a question of whether all the episodes can escape before the ratings drop to single-digit values and it's pulled.

As I remarked when I reviewed the pilot all that time ago, it's not a great show, despite coming from the pen of Kevin Williamson, the man behind Dawson's Creek. It bears all his hallmarks, with stupidly hot, troubled teenagers having ridiculous conversations and flirting away platonically and for God's sake just have sex already will you? Just get it over with and save us all the bother of watching you procrastinate for seven seasons.

Since the pilot, there have been a few alterations and I'm not sure if some of the more interesting parts were purged before the series even started, since I didn't tune in for episode one. But the slightly kinky sex, the Eva Longoria-look alike, Kristin Davis and transvestism have all gone. Instead, we just have a lot of parties and sitting around by a swimming pool while the sun beats down.

There's also a 'mystery' that seems to be the replacement 'hidden' part of the show: what happened to Eddie, the guy who used to live in the house in which our new Dawson now resides. Did he kill himself? Who's instant messaging* everyone claiming to be Eddie then? And what is Eddie's ex, the hot girl Dawson's after now, hiding?

It's not much of a mystery, but it's about the one thing to keep you watching in an otherwise tedious show. It's not awful and its exploration of teenage alcoholism and suicide isn't something that pops up on television much these days. But it's just not that engrossing. If you like watching hot teenagers** in swimming costumes, you could probably use it as a screensaver, but other than that, let's just leave it to sit out in the sun and die.

The Medium is Not Enough declares that Hidden Palms scores a three or “Minor Caruso” on The Carusometer. A Minor Caruso corresponds to “a show in which David Caurso might guest star on the condition that all the female characters, no matter what the age difference, will have crushes on him because 'they want men, not boys'. Despite the extreme temperatures, he will also insist on wearing a black suit because 'real men can take the heat'. Mattresses will need to be positioned around the set to catch him when he passes out.”

* Except everyone keeps saying “emailing”. Even I know that wired-in teenagers know the difference between texting, IM, and emails. How can you be down with the kids and not know that, guys?
** It's US TV: all the teenagers are played by people in their early to mid twenties, just to make teenagers feel really bad about their body images and wonder why they don't look like that.

June 15, 2007

Review: Creature Comforts 1.1

Posted on June 15, 2007 | Post a comment |

Creature Comforts

In the US: CBS, at all sorts of times
In the UK: Not yet acquired

I've been getting an eerie sense of déjà vu watching this. It's not because this is a US version of the UK 2003 show, although maybe some of the animals are the same. It's because Aardman has been doing this show in various guises for a long time now.

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June 14, 2007

Review: Kyle XY 2.1

Posted on June 14, 2007 | Post a comment |

Kyle XY

In the US: ABC Family, Mondays, 8/7c
In the UK:
Trouble TV at some point

Characters re-cast: 0
Major characters gotten rid of: Several
Major new characters: 2
Format change percentage: 25%

Ah, the Aspy propaganda show returns. Yes, the good-looking genius with poor social skills, muted emotional reactions, monotone voice, obsessive interests and an affinity for computers is once again back and boosting ABC Family's ratings through its (not especially high) roof.

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June 11, 2007

Review: The Loop 2.1-2.2

Posted on June 11, 2007 | Post a comment |

The Loop

In the US: Fox, but they're burning it off at a rate of knots so practically all the time now
In the UK: On Trouble TV at some point

Characters re-cast: 0
Major characters gotten rid of: 2
Major new characters: 2
Format change percentage: 25%

Oh dear. I spy with my little eye, something beginning with “Network interference”. It's no secret that Fox wasn't happy with the ratings for the first season of The Loop. But à la Tru Calling, they forked out the cash for a second season all the same. Then cancelled it before it even aired. Now they're burning off the episodes in their back catalogue as quickly as they can.

I can see why. They've been tinkering and messed it up.

Continue reading "Review: The Loop 2.1-2.2"

January 22, 2007

Review: The Dresden Files 1x01

Posted on January 22, 2007 | Post a comment |

The Dresden Files

In the US: Sundays, 9/8c, SciFi
In the UK: Starts on Sky One, February 14th, 9pm

Sigh. I'm old, tired and jaded. I just can't ignore this singular problem any more. I've been around, I've watched a lot of tele. It takes a lot to impress me. Either that or The Dresden Files is just dull and derivative. I'm hoping it's the second option.

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January 12, 2007

Review: Lincoln Heights 1x01

Posted on January 12, 2007 | 1 comment |

Lincoln Heights

In the US: ABC Family, Mondays, 7/6c
In the UK: Nothing yet, but probably The Disney Channel

What is it that makes a programme a “family programme”? Well, obviously there can't be much swearing, sex or violence - can't have kids knowing about that. Or anything else adult. Or that corresponds much to the real world.

It can't be too complicated for the kids, either, or else they won't get it. So it can't deal with serious issues in a sophisticated way, no matter what it claims.

What to make then of Lincoln Heights? It's The Wire, but for a family audience. How does that work then?

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January 9, 2007

Preview: 24 6x01-6x04

Posted on January 9, 2007 | 4 comments |

24

In the US: Starts Sunday, January 14th 8/7c, Fox
In the UK: Starts Sunday, January 21st 9pm, Sky One.

Characters re-cast: 0
Major characters gotten rid of: 1 so far
Major new characters: Loads. I've lost count. They'll be dead soon, though.
Format change percentage: 10%. Jack!

Mancrush.

It's a good word, isn't it? It means the perfectly normal feelings of admiration and envy a completely straight, heterosexual, utterly non-gay man might feel for another completely straight, heterosexual, utterly non-gay man.

Apart from anything else, it's good because it allows us men to make jokes about feelings we're not comfortable with - which we all love, right, because manly men like jokes? - and it conjures up far fewer bad thought-scenarios than the phrase “homo-erotic stirrings”.

There are many legitimate targets for mancrushes. Chuck Norris, Steven Segal, Gordon Ramsay: all acceptable. Milo Ventimiglia in Heroes? Absolutely not. That floppy haired girl's super secret superhero power is empathy, for Heaven's sake. Real men don't have empathy – everyone knows that.

Some mancrushes are acceptable at certain times but not at others. It's perfectly acceptable, for instance, to have a mancrush on Captain Jack in Doctor Who. Under no circumstances is it acceptable to have a mancrush on him in Torchwood. It's just unnatural at every level.

Then there's Jack Bauer. Once a time, he was the ultimate mancrush. Any self-respecting man could say he wanted to stay in to watch Jack Bauer, because, you know, he's just so hard and so dutiful and so stoic... The way he chopped off Chase's hand and only cried about it later... Let's face it, he's just so sway, isn't he?

But now, the first four episodes of the latest season of 24 have actually called this into question. Jack Bauer has become a girly-man.

Continue reading "Preview: 24 6x01-6x04"

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Clone 1x1

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Asides

  • Tue 18 Nov: Does it count in the CSI: Miami drinking game if David Caruso and Emily Procter are apparently in the same scene together, but they never speak to each other and you never see both their faces at the same time?
  • Sat 15 Nov: The Ascent of Money "sponsored by Cayman Islands". Huh. What's going on there then?
  • Sun 02 Nov: Do you think it's deliberate that Sam's mom in the US version of Life on Mars is called Rose Tyler?
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